Photo: 12-mile run, 30-mile ride,  1-mile swim, 70 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 2,200 yds (ytd 144,900 yds.)
Bike: 99 miles (ytd 3,597 mi.)
Run: 29 miles (ytd 809 mi.)

I’ve been wanting a new bike. A road bike. A brand-spanking-new-look-at-this-and-be-jealous-of-the-paint-job road bike. It’s been a while. My kids are grown and gone, I have a good job, I deserve it. Sure, I have a tri-specific bike I race on, but I’m one of those weenies who doesn’t want to spend all his hours training on, wearing down and dirtying up a bike that’s fast, clean and always race-ready.

I also have 12-year-old tri bike that takes a regular beating and has served me well, but also begs me daily for just a little chain lube. Really, I hear it begging, and so does everyone around me. Listen for a moment. Hear it?

I have an older fixie I take for shorter rides (no, I don’t own capri pants or a messenger bag, but I do love the workout that the one fixed gear provides) and a single-speed mountain bike I enjoy on gravel and dirt. There’s even a unicycle I ride occasionally. (I can also juggle, but not at the same time. Baby steps.)

But still, no road bike.

So I started shopping, combing the Web, grabbing magazines in checkout aisles (the ones with bikes on the cover, not celebrities and their makeovers), even talking to a manufacturer’s rep or two.

PUT-MY-WALLET-IN-THE-WASH-MACHINE-AND-HIT-RINSE! Upper four and even five figures for a road bike?

Now I know I’m old and it’s been 40 years since I bought my first bike in the back room of a gas station for a whopping $47 after five weeks of delivering newspapers, but I didn’t realize I was THAT outta touch.

So I started thinking.

What if I took that beat-up, tired tri bike, chipped off the bubbling paint, stripped away the aero bars and shifters, set aside the base bars for my fixie, chucked the cracked carbon aero seatpost, removed the tri-specific saddle, scrapped the bent derailleurs, took to the landfill both outta-true wheels (unless you want them or happen to be the local guy who makes lawn ornaments out of bike wheels)…

And then started asking around?

It turns out I’m not the only one with a home that’s full of bikes, parts, tools and grease.

So after tearing down and cleaning my bike (Simple Green, best stuff ever!), I took the wheels that came stock with my racing bike (but were immediately shelved right outta the box); drop bars that once belonged to a friend; STI shifters and derailleurs no longer used by a riding partner; a stem that has a story, I just don’t know what it is; a favorite saddle still with some miles left on it; and…

Loaded the whole mess into the car and headed to my LBS (Sugar Bottom Bikes, try ‘em if you’re in the Midwest).

Two days later and I have a road bike… one that isn’t “new” but new enough, one that fits, one that rolls true and shifts smooth, and one that cost me a whopping, wait for it…

$100.

Think our sport costs too much? Pffft, only if you let it. Open that shed, look in your garage or your neighbor’s, talk during the next group ride, and give the local shop some business. Your new bike is out there, waiting, and you CAN afford it.

Photo: After the workout, 72 degrees, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Weekly activity log:
Swim: 0 yds (ytd 142,700 yds.)
Bike: 103 miles (ytd 3,498 mi.)
Run: 37 miles (ytd 781 mi.)

There are worse places to bond with your father and son.

Photo: 6-mile run, 30-mile ride, 1-mile swim, 9 a.m., 80 degrees, Linn County, Iowa


Weekly activity log:
Swim: 6,100 yds (ytd 142,700 yds.)
Bike: 104 miles (ytd 3,395 mi.)
Run: 36 miles (ytd 744 mi.)

Not in race shape, but trying to look the part.

Photo: 30-mile fixie ride, 9 a.m., 80 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,200 yds (ytd 136,600 yds.)
Bike: 82 miles (ytd 3,291 mi.)
Run: 30 miles (ytd 708 mi.)

RAGBRAI or this...I chose this.

Another small waste of your time from C.P. on Vimeo.
Video: 15-mile run, 50 degrees, Summit County, Colorado

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,500 yds (ytd 132,400 yds.)
Bike: 89 miles (ytd 3,209 mi.)
Run: 30 miles (ytd 678 mi.)

One last run before leaving home for home.

Photo: After the workout, 74 degrees, Red Rocks, Colorado

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 2,200 yds (ytd 127,900 yds.)
Bike: 37 miles (ytd 3,120 mi.)
Run: 34 miles (ytd 648 mi.)

There are worse places to bond with your daughter.

Photo: After the workout, HOT degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 6,000 yds (ytd 125,700 yds.)
Bike: 111 miles (ytd 3,083 mi.)
Run: 31 miles (ytd 614 mi.)

Here we go again… to whom it may concern,

The softening of our sport continues. When I first got into endurance sports, I often worried whether or not I would finish, but I never worried about the cancellation or shortening of an event due to heat. Until now.

I got into this lifestyle because it was a challenge, because it took effort, because it was HARD. I wanted to see if I had what it took to get into real shape, toe the line, suffer, and finish something that few people could.

Now marathons are being cancelled because it’s too hot. Triathlons are being shortened due to the heat. Swims are being stopped because the water’s too cold or there’s too much wind. WTF?! Nut up, people.

If you want easy, shuffle your way through a county fair fun run. If you want to be a marathoner, a triathlete, an Ironman, then do the work. Yeah, it hurts. It’s supposed to. It’s not for everyone. It wasn’t meant to be. You want perfect weather? Bowling is great, I hear. And you can do it all year long, indoors where you’ll be safe and pain-free.

Hell yeah, I’m pissed. I don’t train hard to show up on race day and find out the race was cancelled or shortened because the RD was worried about some pansy throwing down a lawsuit that blames the universe for his/her own laziness.

Years ago I did a tri where the weather was so hot, the road tar stuck to my racing flats. My head felt like it was going to explode on the run. I toughed it out and finished… everyone did. It was hot, REALLY hot. So what?! The whole idea is to conquer your demons and prove that you are tough; tough enough and in shape enough to kick the race’s butt, AT YOUR OWN RISK. That race, once an Ironman qualifier, was cancelled years later due to some lawsuit-happy jerks.

Have some pride, people. Bust your tail and get into shape. Deal with whatever Mother Nature throws at you. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HARD. If you’re only in it for the finisher’s shirt and bag of swag, buy a T off eBay and brag to someone who cares. The rest of us will earn it…in any conditions. I’ve run in -30 degrees and 100+. One was cold, the other was hot. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hot, cold, rain, drought… it’s weather. Deal with it. Read the waiver, sign it, shut your yap and compete.

Photo: 39-mile gravel ride, 2-mile run, 1-mile swim, 8:00 am, 75 degrees, Waubeek, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,100 yds (ytd 119,700 yds.)
Bike: 99 miles (ytd 2,972 mi.)
Run: 27 miles (ytd 583 mi.)

Are you my mother?

Photo: 8-mile run, 10-mile fixie ride, 1-mile swim, 11:00 am, 90 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 6,100 yds (ytd 114,600 yds.)
Bike: 113 miles (ytd 2,873 mi.)
Run: 22 miles (ytd 556 mi.)

Photo: Office kitchen, 8:00 am, 69 degrees, Hiawatha, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,600 yds (ytd 108,500 yds.)
Bike: 100 miles (ytd 2,760 mi.)
Run: 17 miles (ytd 534 mi.)

Bowl cleansing anyone?

Photo: 30-mile fixie ride, 2-mile run, 1,300-yard swim, 7:00 am, 70 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,600 yds (ytd 104,900 yds.)
Bike: 102 miles (ytd 2,660 mi.)
Run: 7 miles (ytd 517 mi.)

Photo: 5-mile run, 7:00 am, 60 degrees, Venice Beach, California

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,500 yds (ytd 100,300 yds.)
Bike: 42 miles (ytd 2,558 mi.)
Run: 20 miles (ytd 510 mi.)
 
Junkies to the left, surfers to the right.

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,700 yds (ytd 96,800 yds.)
Bike: 112 miles (ytd 2,516 mi.)
Run: 20 miles (ytd 490 mi.)

Photo: 7-mile run, 9:00 am, 70 degrees, Decorah, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 6,300 yds (ytd 91,100 yds.)
Bike: 91 miles (ytd 2,404 mi.)
Run: 26 miles (ytd 470 mi.)

Perspective

I recently received the following from a close friend:

     Day 29.

     I had time for a short visit with Dad this morning so I grabbed a couple of coffees and stopped down
     to see him.

     He was finishing dressing and was waiting for the PT to come and work with him when I got there a
     bit before 9 am. He had on a favorite broadcloth Oxford shirt, this one had a Labrador embroidered
     above the pocket and khakis that he had gotten on a hunting trip with my brother and nephew a
     few years back.

     I walked down to PT with him and he rode a Star-Trac arm/leg ergometer for 10 minutes while the
     PT, Dad and I talked of dogs we had all had in our lives. He had a brief rest and then he worked
    on balance skills, which included walking backwards down the hall.

     There were no t-shirts worn proclaiming "my warm-up was your workout" and there were no
     fancy supplements consumed post-workout to make expensive urine.

     Instead of giving him a participation award I will head back later to the hospital with some
     carry-out BBQ ribs, slaw and a fresh fruit plate and have dinner with him and my brother.

     And look ahead with them to tomorrow.

Perspective is good. Being involved in sports where words like epic, extreme, courage, warrior and fail are tossed around in every other sentence, it’s good to step back regularly and see what’s really important.

I started down this endurance road about the time my son was born 8 weeks premature. Up until that point I’d been fit, I’d raced and I’d done well, but I’d trained mostly for the fun, the friends, the party. Standing in the neo-natal intensive care unit, holding life and death in my hands gave me much-needed perspective and I vowed I was going to appreciate life, live it and be around for my son (and now also for my daughter) for a very long time.

I’ve had many moments like that, when I’ve realized what’s really epic, extreme, courageous and tough. What is a failure and what isn’t. When I make a list, it doesn’t include a finisher’s medal:

• Seeing my 18-year-old son fight through a botched surgery. He could’ve given up… he didn’t.
• Choosing to euthanize a dog… because it was the right choice. And then years later, making that choice again.
• Witnessing a teenager hold a needle to his vein… and opt not to push it.
• Skipping a race because my daughter needed me. Not an epic decision… a really, really easy one.
• Watching my father handle prostate cancer with dignity. I hope to do the same when my time comes… and it will come.
• Finding out over the weekend that a young co-worker decided to end his life… and succeeded with his decision.

Perspective.

Photo: 2-hour fixed ride, 3-mile run, 9:00 am, 50 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 6,000 yds (ytd 84,800 yds.)
Bike: 121 miles (ytd 2,313 mi.)
Run: 19 miles (ytd 444 mi.)

A sky like that.

Photo: 2-hour road ride, 2-mile run, 9:00 am, 60 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,900 yds (ytd 78,800 yds.)
Bike: 108 miles (ytd 2,192 mi.)
Run: 16 miles (ytd 425 mi.)

Clutter or necessity...depends who you ask.

Photo: 2-hour fixie ride, 2-mile run, 9:00 am, 38 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,100 yds (ytd 74,900 yds.)
Bike: 94 miles (ytd 2,083 mi.)
Run: 16 miles (ytd 409 mi.)

Fun begins.

Photo: 2-hour fixie ride, 10:00 am, 45 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,100 yds (ytd 69,800 yds.)
Bike: 127 miles (ytd 1,189 mi.)
Run: 0 miles (ytd 393 mi.)

Professionally, I work in marketing. Over the years, I've been directly involved in helping to raise billions of dollars for a very successful, global organization. Privately, I dabble in endurance sports, where over those same years, I've achieved a modicum of success.


Combine the two and I'm in an interesting spot. I see the marketing tactics of the various manufacturers in our sport and understand their methods. Some have honest ambitions and sincere intentions while others are simply looking for my/your money. They promise faster, stronger, fitter and healthier, knowing that our greed for bragging rights wins out over common sense. If a magazine or website advertises it, we must need it. If your buddy, or worse yet, your competition, races with it, you'd better do the same. While very few of us are out-n-out cheaters, most of us are always on the lookout for ways to cheat hard work.

Stop.

Don't be a sucker. Don't fall for slick marketing, empty promises, over-hyped hype.

Do you know why Dave Scott was fast? Because he worked harder than the rest of us. Tim DeBoom, same deal. Macca, him too. Chrissie, duh. They'd kick your tail riding any bike, in any shoe, downing any drink. They want it worse than you and are willing to pay the price for it… and that price isn't 'retail.'

Before you go begging your spouse for the next whatzit you saw on the roof rack at the club, ask yourself, "Is it really going to make me a better athlete?" Odds are, the answer is no. Don't believe me? Go to eBay or craigslist and search for bikes, frames, wheelsets, wetsuits, etc. You'll find plenty of "only used one season" from people who fall for the sales pitch year after year… after year.

Equipment won't put you on the podium, hard work will… really, REALLY hard work.

I've been around some of the world's best athletes. I've trained next to them. I've shared their lap lane, their draft line, their time at the track. They sacrifice, they show up early and stay late. I've never been willing to drop everything to be that good. They are willing and able. But one thing I've noticed… they rarely if ever talk about equipment - they're too busy working harder than the rest of us. They ride what they ride. They know a good bike is a good bike, a good shoe is a good shoe, goggles are goggles and a great work ethic is what counts. I once asked an Olympian friend what running shoe she wore. Her reply, "whatever's on sale at the outlet mall," and then she ran me into the ground.

But wait, you say, what about that quote from the superstar that you saw in the glossy magazine? Someone like me wrote it for them. Don't fall for that schtick. If you want to be faster, stronger, fitter, healthier, save your money and work harder than the person next to you.

Think you need a new bike? Convinced it will add 1, 2, 5 mph to your average speed? It may "feel" fast when you bring it home, but compare your times from this year to last and they're eerily the same. Instead, take the bike you own now and actually ride it more, work harder and train smarter, suffer with the big boys in your locale and see serious results. The best part, you'll start burying all those people who spent their off-seasons shopping for "faster" instead of truly paying for it.

Next time you're at the cash register, ask yourself, "what's it really going to get me?" If the only real answer is credit card debt, think twice. Sweat is free and pays huge dividends.

Photo: 11-mile run, 16-mile ride, 9:00 am, 50 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,100 yds (ytd 64,700 yds.)
Bike: 55 miles (ytd 1,062 mi.)
Run: 33 miles (ytd 393 mi.)

Thanks, fellas.

Photo: 11-mile run, 35-mile ride, 9:00 am, 40 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,800 yds (ytd 59,600 yds.)
Bike: 74 miles (ytd 1,007 mi.)
Run: 31 miles (ytd 360 mi.)

Good Friday indeed.

Photo: 2-hour fixie ride, 9:00 am, 70 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,500 yds (ytd 54,800 yds.)
Bike: 81 miles (ytd 933 mi.)
Run: 30 miles (ytd 329 mi.)

One-speed ride followed by a six-speed ride.

Photo: 2-hour gravel ride, 4:00 pm, 70 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,100 yds (ytd 51,300 yds.)
Bike: 72 miles (ytd 852 mi.)
Run: 30 miles (ytd 289 mi.)

Marvin Cone would be proud.

Photo: 2+ hour fixie ride, 1+ hour run, 11:00 am, 75 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,500 yds (ytd 46,200 yds.)
Bike: 93 miles (ytd 780 mi.)
Run: 30 miles (ytd 259 mi.)

Simple pleasures.

Photo: 2-hour gravel ride, 1-hour run, 8:00 am, 38 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,500 yds (ytd 42,700 yds.)
Bike: 89 miles (ytd 687 mi.)
Run: 27 miles (ytd 229 mi.)

Photo: 6-mile run, 6:00 am, 50 degrees, Scottsdale, Arizona

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,200 yds (ytd 39,200 yds.)
Bike: 58 miles (ytd 598 mi.)
Run: 16 miles (ytd 202 mi.)

All work and no play makes C.P. a dull boy.

Photo: 1-hour single-speed ride, 60-minute run, 1-hour single-speed ride, 8:00 am, 13 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 5,200 yds (ytd 36,000 yds.)
Bike: 66 miles (ytd 540 mi.)
Run: 27 miles (ytd 186 mi.)

Spoke too soon.

Photo: 2-hour single-speed ride, 30-minute run, 8:00 am, 28 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,400 yds (ytd 30,800 yds.)
Bike: 73 miles (ytd 474 mi.)
Run: 24 miles (ytd 159 mi.)

Hard right turn toward Spring.

Photo: 2-hour single-speed ride, 1:00 pm, 28 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,400 yds (ytd 27,400 yds.)
Bike: 61 miles (ytd 401 mi.)
Run: 19 miles (ytd 135 mi.)

Hmmmmm...

Photo: 2-hour single-speed ride, 9:00 am, 27 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,800 yds (ytd 24,000 yds.)
Bike: 62 miles (ytd 340 mi.)
Run: 24 miles (ytd 116 mi.)

Only in Iowa.

Photo: 6-mile run, 10-mile ride, 8:00 am, 15 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,800 yds (ytd 19,200 yds.)
Bike: 61 miles (ytd 278 mi.)
Run: 22 miles (ytd 92 mi.)

Iowa Aid Station.

Photo: 6-mile run, 9:00 am, 4 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,900 yds (ytd 14,400 yds.)
Bike: 62 miles (ytd 217 mi.)
Run: 20 miles (ytd 70 mi.)

And just like that... winter.

Photo: 6-mile run, 24-mile ride, 8:00 am, 2 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,800 yds (ytd 9,500 yds.)
Bike: 77 miles (ytd 155 mi.)
Run: 22 miles (ytd 50 mi.)

ZOMBIES! Remember, they don’t ride bikes. Even in winter, stay a step ahead - get out and ride.

Photo: 7-mile run, 8:00 am, 19 degrees, Decorah, Iowa


Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,700 yds (ytd 4,700 yds.)
Bike: 57 miles (ytd 78 mi.)
Run: 22 miles (ytd 28 mi.)

Fortunately, the memories of running a ski lift are a bit more pleasant.

Video: 20-mile ride, 6-mile run, 9:00 am, 28 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 2,800 yds (ytd 0 yds.)
Bike: 71 miles (ytd 21 mi.)
Run: 22 miles (ytd 6 mi.)

Happy New Year

Photo: 6-mile run, 22-mile ride, 9:00 am, 24 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,400 yds (ytd 249,600 yds.)
Bike: 56 miles (ytd 5,418 mi.)
Run: 21 miles (ytd 1,335 mi.)

BBBBBlue Christmas.

Photo: 6-mile run, 24-mile ride, 10:00 am, 30 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,100 yds (ytd 245,200 yds.)
Bike: 68 miles (ytd 5,372 mi.)
Run: 21 miles (ytd 1,314 mi.)

I'm dreaming of a brown, dusty Christmas.

Photo: 6-mile run, 16-mile ride, 9:00 am, 30 degrees, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,100 yds (ytd 241,100 yds.)
Bike: 52 miles (ytd 5,304 mi.)
Run: 20 miles (ytd 1,293 mi.)

Last gasp of fall, first breath of winter.

Video: 10-mile run, 8:00 am, 34 degrees, Decorah, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,700 yds (ytd 237,000 yds.)
Bike: 30 miles (ytd 5,252 mi.)
Run: 20 miles (ytd 1,273 mi.)

READ

Photo: 3-mile run, 8:00 am, 40 degrees, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 2,800 yds (ytd 233,300 yds.)
Bike: 61 miles (ytd 5,222 mi.)
Run: 17 miles (ytd 1,253 mi.)

In response to the seasonal rash of how-to articles detailing 10 tips to avoid gaining weight over the holidays, I've opted to pen my own:

DON'T FEED YOUR PIEHOLE LIKE AN IOWA CORN-FED PIG AT THE TROUGH! I live in Iowa. I've seen pigs eat. It isn't pretty... shoving their filthy faces in the slop. Grunting, snorting and making, well, pigs of themselves. Piglets are cute. Pigs are not. They're fat... really fat. Obese. They're bred to eat A LOT and then die at the slaughterhouse.

Don't want to gain weight? Maybe even lose a few pounds? Eat like a human. Take respectable helpings of food that's good for you. Chew. Chew some more. Wash it down with glass after glass of water. Carry on a conversation in between bites. Tell a joke. Sing a holiday carol. When you're finished, get out the door and play with your kids or the neighbors' kids or any kids or just act like a kid, or take the dog and yourself for a walk, run or ride.

Looking for nine more tips? You don't need them. It's not that difficult. Can't do it? What are you, a pig?

Photo: 4-mile run, 6:30 am, 60 degrees, Scottsdale, Arizona

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 1,100 yds (ytd 230,500 yds.)
Bike: 68 miles (ytd 5,161 mi.)
Run: 12 miles (ytd 1,236 mi.)

Photo: 2.5-hour fixie ride, 15-minute run, 11:00 am, 50 degrees, Lafayette, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,200 yds (ytd 229,400 yds.)
Bike: 72 miles (ytd 5,093 mi.)
Run: 10 miles (ytd 1,224 mi.)

Why Not... Ride

Photo: 2.5-hour gravel ride with some modified chins at the end, 11:00 am, a dry 69 degrees in the basement, Marion, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 0 yds (ytd 226,200 yds.)
Bike: 45 miles (ytd 5,021 mi.)
Run: 2 miles (ytd 1,214 mi.)

First, a BIG thank you to everyone who came, who rode and who conquered AGGI v2.

Mario Czarnomski once again proved unbeatable, setting a new course record as he crossed the very vague finish line with a finish time of 3:44:30. Unfortunately, Mario was unable to stay for the last finishers (frankly, we think he was just avoiding the GRAND PRIZE), so the GRAND PRIZE (from the Land of Sky Blue Waters) went to Matt Maxwell from Ames who finished a close second. Rounding out the podium was newcomer Charles Showalter. Tops among the women was recent Kona-qualifier, Jenny Lorenz, who was heard muttering throughout the day, “Hot tub, where’s my hot tub? Has anyone seen my hot tub?” All will receive FREE entry to next year's race.

Additional shout outs to:

Das Pitbull for tasty Crucible Jam. If you didn’t get any, you missed out. Morning-after toast just isn’t the same without it. FREE entry for you in 2012.

Tom Gehring for hauling himself and his beautiful Wild Turkey rig all the way from the Twin Cities. (Tom, the Surly Beer didn’t suck! FREE entry for you next year, too.)

Richard Studer for hanging in there and finishing in the dark. Richard had surgery this past week and still decided to show up and ride. FREE entry for Richard.

Zoey’s for great pizza pies, cold beer, friendly conversation and warmth.

Mother Nature for sparing us the rain and offering up wonderful hills, beautiful scenery and dust-free roads. But did you really need to include the wind, and then more wind?

Melanie, you’ll be back.

Lord Nibbles, Patron of the Hamster Clan, for signing in as such.

Big Al, for the sculpture and the host truck.

The spectators. Okay, so they were cattle, but it’s a start.

That dog off Rollins Rd that made us pick up the pace and then keep up the pace. “DOWN, BOY!”

In the end, numbers were up, times were faster and laughs were had well into the night. Another successful - and FREE - American Gothic Gravel Invitational in the books.

Until next year,

C.P.

It's Time!

PowerBar®, The Crucible® and the Iowa Gravel Society™
present
The American Gothic Gravel Invitational™
Sunday, 30 October 2011, 12:00 pm

A 60-mile, balls-to-the wall, dust-in-yo-teeth, winner-take-all, free-of-charge bike race across the gravel roads of Linn County, Iowa. Yes, IOWA!

Everyone gets: Dirty, satisfaction, camaraderie, the cue-sheet keepsake you see here, BONUS POSTER seen above (suitable for framing – WOW-FUN-WOW, COLLECT ALL TWO), and a get-together of some sort afterwards (but only if you stick around for the last finisher. Bring a few bucks if you're hungry. Zoey's was dang tasty last year). Word has it there MAY also be Crucible Jam for a lucky few. While we can’t guarantee a broken spoke, flat tire, dog bite (a couple strays have been added to the course) or saddle sore, if the fates are with ya, you may leave with a story to tell.

One person gets: The grand prize (but only if he/she sticks around for the last finisher).

Rules: Sign the notebook before the start. We roll out as a group at high noon (later start time this year… I need to mow). Once we hit gravel on the other side of Highway 13, the race is on. Follow the cue sheets ‘til you hit the finish. Sign the notebook with your name and finish time (there’ll be a stopwatch [or cheap Timex] by the notebook). No aid stations. No outside help. Don’t be stupid. Don’t cheat. Ride safe. Stop, look and listen. When you cross the highway(s), look and then look again. Don’t be a tool (ride like your grandmother is watching). And don't, don't, don't litter. The roads are open and the farmers are working harder than any of us. Stay to the right and outta their way. The roads and fields are theirs, not ours. Wave and they’ll wave back.

Cue sheets: Click the pic. These are the only directions you’ll receive. Print ‘em. Bring ‘em. Lose ‘em and you'd better find someone to ride with. If you bring a buddy, make a copy for him/her and make sure your pal doesn’t get lost.

Start/Finish line: Indian Creek Elementary School parking lot (by the OLD football field), 2900 Indian Creek Road, Marion, IA. There may be some road construction near the start/finish – look at it as your chance to ride creatively.

In the event of a tie, the 100-yd Grant Wood Dash of Death will be held at the adjacent track to determine the winner. We’re REALLY hoping for a tie. Bring your running shoes… just in case.

Fine print: You’re receiving this because you’re one of a select group (or someone we thought really had nothing better to do). This is an invitation-only race because we’ve seen what happens when some FREE events are opened to the inconsiderate masses. That said; if you want to bring along a kindred spirit, that’s cool, too. In fact, we encourage it.

Large print: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. There is no sag wagon (though Crazy Pete will again ride ceremonial DFL and pick up the carnage), so choose your weapon wisely. If you get a flat, fix it. If you break down, work some mechanical magic or start walking. No one is coming to save you (unless you have a very forgiving spouse, child, parent or domestic partner). You got into it, you get out of it. That said, offer a helping hand if someone needs it, even if that means slowing down. As mentioned above, don't be a tool... but feel free to lend one.

See you soon,

Photo: 2-hour gravel ride, 30-minute run, 9:00 am, 50 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,200 yds (ytd 2220,000 yds.)
Bike: 93 miles (ytd 4,894 mi.)
Run: 14 miles (ytd 1,201 mi.)

Some days you can see forever. Other days you can see even farther.

Video: 2-hour gravel ride, 30-minute run, 7:00 am, 40 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 4,300 yds (ytd 215,800 yds.)
Bike: 77 miles (ytd 4,801 mi.)
Run: 13 miles (ytd 1,187 mi.)

FACT: Zombies don't ride bikes. Get out and ride.

Photo: 40-mile gravel ride, 4-mile run, 9:00 am, 60 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 1,500 yds (ytd 211,500 yds.)
Bike: 130 miles (ytd 4,724 mi.)
Run: 4 miles (ytd 1,187 mi.)

Photo: 26.2-mile run, 12:00 pm, 70 degrees, St. Paul, MN

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 2,600 yds (ytd 209,700 yds.)
Bike: 26 miles (ytd 4,594 mi.)
Run: 40 miles (ytd 1,183 mi.)

A mass of humanity?
A mess of humanity?
I'm missing the humanity.

RIP, Copper

No more medicine,
Never another transfusion,
One final car ride,
One last breath.

This time, a heart as big as the mountain you were named for just wasn’t quite big enough.

Photo: 10-mile run, 6:00 am, 40 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,100 yds (ytd 207,100 yds.)
Bike: 74 miles (ytd 4,568 mi.)
Run: 34 miles (ytd 1,143 mi.)

Photo: 46-mile fixie ride, 6-mile run, 9:00am, 50 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 3,000 yds (ytd 204,000 yds.)
Bike: 102 miles (ytd 4,494 mi.)
Run: 53 miles (ytd 1,109 mi.)

It’s the little things…

So you’ve crept into the top half of the finisher’s results… maybe you even made the awards ceremony at your local race. Your legs are now smoother than your face (for you guys, at least). You’ve already set your DVR for the re-rebroadcast of Kona. Congratulations! You’re becoming a triathlete…

Or are you? Are you breaking these unwritten (until now) rules?

•Banana peels – Bananas are great for your health and fit so neatly in your jersey, but don’t drop the peel in the middle of the road. Sure it’s biodegradable, but at least toss it in the ditch where the field mice can enjoy it and the rest of us don’t need to look at it. See also: apple core
•Gel – The energy surge of a well-timed gel is magic, but dropping the wrapper is pathetic. Stick it in your pocket or in the leg of your shorts. Yes, it’s sticky, but littering is weak. Don’t do it when you’re training; don’t do it when you’re racing. Drop it by mistake? Go back and get it. Simple. See someone do it, call them out.
•Mechanicals – You’re on your training ride. Your average speed is your best yet. Suddenly you see a rider with a flat tire. Don’t blow past. Stop and ask if they need help. They may only need an extra hand, a tire lever or a call on your phone. Your amazing MPH can wait.
•Speaking of flat tires – Now that you’ve learned how to change one, don’t leave your tube on the roadside. Toss it over your shoulder and take it home…it’s perfect for holding up that tree you’re going to plant.
•Laps – You missed the masters’ workout. So you’re left swimming over your lunch hour during ‘open swim.’ The water joggers and back floaters don’t understand ‘fast lane’ or ‘swimming circles.’ Educate them, NICELY.
•Badass – You’re not one. You may be fitter than you’ve ever been, but keep it real. Go to an evening of mixed martial arts. Better yet, train with one of them. THEY are badass.
•Common Courtesy – You’re 40 miles from home, the pace line is rolling and John Deere just cut you off. Give the driver a wave and ‘good morning’ instead of the finger… he’s working harder than you and your mates, day-in day-out, and he may just be growing the beef, chicken, fruit and vegetables you’re about to eat.
•Family – You’re fit, we get it. So why is half your extended family carrying your wetsuit, schlepping your bike, and toting your gear pre- and post-race? Man-up and do it yourself.
•Race Reports – Do you really think Mom is going to read all seven installments of your latest race report? How about the rest of humanity? Hire an editor and cut it down to a 5-minute read.
•Stickers – We all get them. In race packets, every time we order a new bike part, with our various federation memberships… you don’t need to put them ALL on your car.
•Cycling Gloves, Helmet Pads – For the love of God, please wash them. That smell is YOU.
•Bike Racks – They’re for bikes… transporting them to and from races, your rides and the shop. Leaving your bike on the car for days/weeks/months at a time will surely trash your rig. We all understand that you’re a tri-dork. Now remove the bike, then take off the rack and store it in the garage. It’ll last for years.
•Sucker – Do I care if you suck off my wheel when I’m riding the backroads? Nope. But you better introduce yourself first and ask if it’s cool.
•More Sucker – Suck off my wheel during a race and I will get your race number… then I’ll find my very big non-triathlon friends and come looking for you. See: Badass
•Skinsuits – If you’re out in yours (dang, that’s sharp), training on your high-dollar rig (dang, that’s sharper still) and you see a rider ahead, don't catch them and then blow by. Instead, catch them, match their pace for a bit and introduce yourself. Then ride off after wishing them well. Karma comes around, believe me.
•Finisher’s shirts – At church? Really?
•Pee – We don’t care if you empty your bladder in front of us, but the guy does who owns the land you’re standing on. Find a field far away from his view.
•Wheels – For the umpteenth time, another new wheelset isn’t going to make you any faster than the last new wheelset or the new one before that. Put the credit card away and start riding more. Same goes for weight-shaving saddles, aero helmets, carbon this and titanium that.
•Fit – You skipped the new wheels (smart) and spent your cash being fitted for your bike (smarter still). Don’t go home and tweak (e.g. ruin) what they just did.
•EPIC – Read Endurance by Albert Lansing if you want epic. What we do is not epic.
•Ego – You passed a runner early this morning… the one in tattered shorts who was creeping along slowly. You chuckled to yourself, thinking how fast you’ve become. You’d better be nice. He/she was running 6 hours before you left the house, is 20 years older than you, and is training for a 100-miler. He/she could run circles around you and your day-glow singlet.
•Volunteer – At a race, a school, a library or a soup kitchen. You’ll feel good.
•Treadmills – Don’t you just hate it when someone’s using your favorite treadmill? They’re not training for the big race, yet they’re determined to shuffle along for the club’s 30-minute maximum. Instead of tossing a tantrum, find the door and run outside (it’s where you should’ve been in the first place).
•Races – Create your own. It doesn’t have to have an entry fee. It doesn’t need awards, medals or t-shirts. Get a group together, beat the snot out of each other, and then share stories over pizza when you’re finished.

Video: 3,000-yard swim, 7-mile gravel run, 60-mile gravel ride, 7-mile gravel run, 5:00am, 60 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 7,000 yds (ytd 201,000 yds.)
Bike: 121 miles (ytd 4,392 mi.)
Run: 38 miles (ytd 1,056 mi.)

I’ll be honest. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

Say, for example, you have a race planned for the weekend; a long, long race a long, long ways from home. But then maybe your dog falls ill and needs a blood transfusion and a cocktail of drugs administered regularly and constant attention. And maybe your daughter moves off to college, but then has a bit of an emotional meltdown and needs you, really needs you. So maybe you pull the plug on your far, far away race and care for your dog and your daughter, because that’s what you do. Then, maybe you give up for the year, rack the bike, closet the running shoes and shelve the speedo.

Or maybe, just maybe, you quit moping, set your alarm and get out the door to finish off a favorite swim workout, head out on one of your favorite, long gravel rides, and top it off with a long run or two you enjoyed from years ago.

Maybe… maybe not.

Photo: 2,000-yd swim, 10-mile run, 6:00am, 60 degrees, Linn County, Iowa

Weekly activity log:
Swim: 6,100 yds (ytd 194,000 yds.)
Bike: 76 miles (ytd 4,271 mi.)
Run: 30 miles (ytd 1,018 mi.)